Reflection

I find it extremely difficult to complete self-evaluations. I usually have to do them many times before I feel the least bit satisfied with the result. I guess I do not like to be categorized or stereotyped. Maybe I just do not like to limit myself. What makes it so difficult, is how hard it is for me to feel like I'm answering honestly by not perceiving myself as who I want to be compared to people I admire or who I think I should be based on what my mother has told me. After trying at least four times, I ended up with a result that I'm not necessarily comfortable with, but that I do not strongly oppose. That is life though, isn't it? There are always things to learn and ways we change that bring growth, which moves us along. We are like wildflowers. We start out bright and hopeful and then the winds come; we are uprooted and tossed into the air until eventually, our petals spread out and plant themselves in new places where they can grow furthermore.

My results show that I am an INFJ. I understand those results only show that I am most likely to fall in the categories INFJ covers and I agree with almost everything in the description. I would like to point out that while they may describe most of my goals and personality, those letters do not define me. I want to focus on the letter “I” meaning, “Introvert”. For example, I used to be a complete introvert. I was the kid that spent my free-time with my nose in a book, I was the little girl that chose to watch the other kids play games instead of joining in, and I was the sibling that didn't voice her opinions. However, I had a seed that was waiting to be planted for growth. I might have appeared to be an introvert, but I never wanted to be one. I always wanted to be the kid that was unafraid to shine. Maybe my problem was never that I started out as an introvert, but that I started out uncertain of myself. I remember one time where I was forced out of my comfort zone in drama class. I was scared out of my mind to get up in front of everyone and participate in the improv exercise, but I loved the thrill of it and the pride I felt when I sat back down. Like a shy, little turtle that cautiously stretches it's neck out of it's shell for the first time, once I got a taste of light I didn't want to go back into hiding. Slowly, but surely I became more confidant. I believe that is how growing feels and I believe that people are never done learning new things about themselves and they should explore growth even if it seems impossible.

The test was spot-on with almost all things regarding school. I love reading and writing and I love learning about those two things. That is something I have recently re-discovered. One thing the results say is that “In the writing process, the INFJ will often...need to organize their writing to allow time for thinking and put a lot of thought into writing in order to impact their reader” and I feel so strongly about both of those things that it makes me a little emotional. I believe that writing makes a person look into their soul. Seeing the academic strengths an INFJ has is encouraging and makes me want to accept challenges and excel. Just like a person can experience new things that may change how they perceive themselves and chose to grow, writing is full of learning and growing and it is one of the most exciting and beautiful things available for a human being to experience.